


It could only be fate.

by Peony_Prince



Series: Mr.Sadman Give me a Dream [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Post-Red Hood and the Outlaws #25, Roy is dead, The Helmet of Fate, Tim and Dick are only mentioned fyi, and when we don't beta we update the story 3 fucking times, because we die like idiot highschool seniors who have no one to beta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-01-16 06:40:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18515974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peony_Prince/pseuds/Peony_Prince
Summary: “Thanks anyways, for telling me yourself. I know that wasn’t easy for you, hating me and all…” Jason turned away ready to walk.“I don’t hate you Jason I never hated you…-” Jason paused.Bruce’s brow was still furrowed up in a show of what seemed like genuine emotion to anyone that didn’t know him as well as Jason did.-”Not once. Not for a moment. Do I think you need an occasional kick in the ass? I don’t deny it…- “The bottle on Jason’s control slipped and all Jason could hear was ringing.‘I’ve never seen you hit the Joker this hard. And you hate him.'





	1. Chapter 1

Jason wasn’t quite sure how he’d ended up in this situation, if you asked Bruce he’d blame himself, Damian he would blame Jason, Jason would blame his bad luck.

The helmet of fate hit the ground and bounced once before it rolled to a stop at his feet. Staring at it, at Nabu, the wheels of fate clicked into place.

Jason had nothing, Jason had no one. Bizzaro, Kori, Artemis, Bruce, and his brothers… And Roy all gone…-  
.  
.  
.  
-”Aw mother fucker.” Jason pulled the Batarang out of his hip and limped to the couch in his hotel room. He curled up and who gave a fuck if he bled on the couch. ‘What hotel room had a couch anyways? One that had a shitty bed’ he mused. And on that shitty couch the springs dug into his side and so did the ne thing he’d wanted to bury. He pulled it out of his pocket.

Jason stared at it nonplussed, truthfully he had felt numb until then. But something started to ache and something had started to dig. That something wanted him to open the damn box and Jason agreed with that thing. After all he had kicked Damian’s ass for it. And so he thumbed it open. 

The silver bands were just as beautiful as he remembered. He rubbed his thumb along it it had taken weeks for all the intricate engravings to be completed. Roy would have loved it. Would have…-  
.  
.  
.  
-”Roy Harper is dead.” Bruce said it almost emotionally but that was buried down under his cold professionalism. He had said the same things to different people many times and Jason wasn’t any different. Jason’s composure almost violently imploded he could barely keep it together.

‘Keep it together, Bruce doesn’t need to see you like this doesn’t need to know. Doesn’t need to suspect. ‘

Bruce filled the brief silence. “I’m sorry Jason”

“I just,-” saw him- “ last week he…” - went to rehab... “How?” Jason settled and smothered his melancholy beneath pillows under waves of rage. 

“It was a place called sanctuary”

“Rehab for capes. He called it.” Jason's finger swirled the rim of his coffee cup. The cream started to bubble up in streaks of toffee and agate. It was beautiful. If he looked hard enough he could see a fire starting to kindle before the color quickly died. 

“No one knows who or why. A lot of people died. And I won’t rest until I find those responsible.” 

Bruce looked at him, he only looked but he said plenty. He was worried about another Penguin incident…-  
‘Reassure him Jason, Reassure him you won’t do something stupid and fuck it up like you always do…’

“That’s uh, that’s a lot of people looking for revenge then. Don’t need to add me in the mix.”

“I agree…”Bruce didn’t look reassured or particularly relaxed. But Jason had meant it, at least for the moment. 

Jason could barely concentrate. Bruce and the Justice League didn’t know who did it, they didn’t know why. Jason didn’t know if he kissed him goodbye and he didn’t know why he hadn’t checked up on Roy sooner. Maybe if he had Roy would-

-“Alfred says it’s important to let out your feelings” Bruce stared at his son. Perhaps he wanted Jason to have the illusion that he still cared. When Jason knew he didn’t and hadn’t since long before he shot Penguin. 

Jason was shook from his spiraling stupor “Seriously grief counselling from the guy who dresses as a bat?” it was a good comeback considering his… His partner had died...But it certainly wasn’t his best!

‘Convince him, so he can leave you alone to fall apart and rot!’

“Look Bruce, Death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to a person. Trust me. You died. Damian died. Death is a revolving door in our business”

-Convince him you were were friends barely even that. Just a couple of guys who saved each other and annoyed this shit out of each other a couple of times. Not even a best friend. Like Damian! Or Tim, Or Dick. Any of his “siblings” honestly.-

-“Am I going to miss him?”- ‘you have no fucking clue. -’ “ Absolutely!” But everyone who has ever put on a mask is living on borrowed time… He’d be pissed if I spent the life I have left moping over him.”

Bruce said nothing, stood up, paid the tab and walked out… The moment of the magical ceasefire ended. Jason looked at the night sky. It used to look beautiful but now, it looked as significant as any other piece of trash rolling in the street…

Bruce broke the silence “Can I drop you somewhere?”

‘Sure off the nearest 5 story.’

Jason almost laughed or cried, he couldn’t tell... Drop off where? Jason had nothing a few days ago he had a future, he could have had a family, he could have had a house with a white picket fence, and a dog, maybe a kid, with his husband. 

He covered his chuckle with a cough. “No, i’m fine. I need some fresh air.” A raindrop hit his face and Jason puffed up his chest to try and hide the way he shook. Jason turned and walked away.

“J- Jason?” Jason looked up blearily. His father held his arms open in a hug. But Jason couldn’t see a hug, all he saw were clenched gloved fists ready to strike hypocritical revelation. All Jason could see was his old red bat insignia gripped in Batman’s hand. All he could see was his arm twisted the wrong way. Jason could feel the rain then and now. He could also feel how his ribs struggled and at that moment still struggled to breathe. And unlike the hug he could not feel his hero’s arms around him. He couldn’t smell his cheap drugstore cologne that Jason said he’d hated, but smelled on Roy’s shirts when he was away. Jason couldn’t see his savior’s fiery hair and glinting eyes. Roy was better than Jason knew he could ever be.

Jason stiffened. “If Roy hadn’t saved me how badly would you have hurt me? Without him how badly will you hurt me Bruce…” 

‘So much for the just friends angle Jason.’  
Maybe it was a low blow but Jason didn’t care Bruce’s impassive mask cracked a bit and his face furrowed with a look of hurt.

“Thanks anyways, for telling me yourself. I know that wasn’t easy for you, hating me and all…” Jason turned away ready to walk.

“I don’t hate you Jason I never hated you…-” Jason paused.

Bruce’s brow was still furrowed up in a show of what seemed like genuine emotion to anyone that didn’t know him as well as Jason did. 

-”Not once. Not for a moment. Do I think you need an occasional kick in the ass? I don’t deny it…- “  
The bottle on Jason’s control slipped and all Jason could hear was ringing. 

‘I’ve never seen you hit the Joker this hard. And you hate him.' “-But at the end of the day I’ve got your 6 and I know you’ve got mine.” 

Jason turned and walked into the night as Bruce stared at his retreating figure, untroubled.-  
.  
.  
.  
-Jason felt empty in his hotel room. He felt worse than a tree eaten hollow from the inside out. He took the rings and held them close.  
.  
“Roy Harper” Gold.

“Jason Todd” Silver. 

Jason curled in on himself even more. Before he resigned himself and stood up. In his loneliness he finally felt comfortable. No one to pity him and no one to pretend for him. He was relieved. He walked out on the motel balcony. He gazed at the silver ring in his fist and then he threw it into the parking lot. Jason stumbled back to his couch and shakily grabbed a warm bottle of beer. He set the gold ring on the table. He swigged it and sobbed. Any self restraint Jason had had until that moment broke down as strong as a dam deconstructed. 

Jason shook as he stood up but stepped into the bathroom. He pulled out a single blade razor from behind the cracked mirror and placed it under his throat. 

If Jason just focused on this one thing that wasn’t Roy, his death, or how alone he was, Jason would feel better. As Jason began to swipe up and cut away his five o’ clock shadow he nicked his throat right by his…

Suddenly he couldn’t catch his breath. He tried to stand only to hit the ground. He had tried to stand and instead slipped in a pool of his own blood.  
.  
.  
.  
-“It’s either him or me Bruce! You have to chose, him or me!” 

The Joker’s cackle sounded no better than a rabid hyena. 

“Even when you win we all lose!”

Fire ripped on Jason’s neck. Jason’s gun hit the ground .

Placated, was a word to describe Jason his eyes glazed over and he looked for the source of this unexpected turn. A lone Batarang glinted coldly in the moonlight. Jason strained to hear a babbling brook and the wind that followed it. But the noises were too wrong and ominous for that. The brook was a gurgling bog and the wind was an empty balloon. Jason distressed all the more realizing that there was only him. He panted trying to catch his breath as he hit the detonator. -  
.  
.  
.  
Somehow he made it out of the rubble and out onto the streets of Gotham.

“Woah buddy you don’t look so good” -Who was that? Jason had seen him before with Oliver.

Jason whipped around and his hand reached for the knife at his side. 

‘ Any friend of Green Arrow’s was liable to turn him into Bruce.’ Jason thought but his control started to fall through as he bled even more. 

“Hey i’m just here to help you, I’m one of the good guys!” -Arsenal-

Jason stumbled into his arms and blacked out and Jason later wished he wouldn’t have ever woken up if it meant leaving Roy’s arms.-  
.  
.  
.  
-Jason walking away from Bruce on the lonely road, pulled out a box. The rings felt empty and heavy like twin pairs of bowling balls. Roy was dead… Somehow he couldn’t comprehend. He didn’t feel sad he didn’t feel anything until he opened the box and the rings glinted as if they were the glinting eyes of a mocker, making fun of him for what he could no longer have. 

A bell rang on the door as he entered the pawn shop. 

The exchange was quick and easy and painless for the pawn shop owner. For Jason it felt like selling a part of his soul and a betrayal to himself and to Roy’s memory. In the end it was worth it even if the guy fucked Jason over on the price giving him a third of what he initially paid. Jason hated how easily he let it go watching the man slide the box behind the counter. 

“Can I uh use your bathroom?” Jason asked the Pawn man nodded.

Jason began to tear up as his back hit the wall and he slid down to the tiled floor. His heart ached and wrenched as it twisted itself into slivers. He knew why he had sold them. Roy wasn’t coming back ever, and Jason had failed Roy. He let his partner walk to his death and didn’t save him. Did Jason call even once? Selling the rings bothered him but this was the start of a penance Jason knew he beyond deserved. 

Something rapped sturdily. Jason stood up and walked out of the bathroom.

“Hey the store’s closed…” Jason looked up at the man. And not a single emotion flashed across his face.

“Hey kid” The man’s voice softened. “Can I ring you up for a pack of smokes or some booze?” 

Jason nodded. “Cigarettes please.” 

Outside the pawnshop Jason slid down a post and his heads clasped the sides of his head as body shook silently in a sob. His tears were inseparable from the rain drops pelting his face from the sky. He began to wail and shake almost as if he were a lone tree swaying violently in a hurricane starting to crack. 

His hands trembled as he pulled the pack of smokes from his coat. Once opened Jason saw only one cigarette despite paying for a whole pack. He stared at it for a moment. Completely deadpan as Jason tried to figure out how he felt. “What kind of asshole-.”

You know what never mind he didn’t give a shit it was perfect. -  
.  
.  
.  
-“HOOD!” During that brief moment of distraction Slade Wilson had appeared to take advantage of it. Fortunately during this minuscule fuck up Jason dodged the first swing of Slade’s sword but the second sword lodged in Jason’s helmet. Jason jumped back but not before Slade ripped Jason's helmet off with his sword. 

“I’m not losing old man!” Jason snarled Slade slid a gas mask over his mouth.

Jason paled and his hands started to shake, his fingers trembled as he struggled to find his own. Slade didn’t let up and he rushed Jason. Jason blocked both with his knives.

“How’d you get wrapped up in this Slade?”

“Luthor paid good money to make sure this project got through. And Penguin paid good money to see you dead Hood.” Jason knew he couldn’t keep it up especially with whatever Slade spilled into the air sapping his strength. 

Slade jerked his right leg into Jason’s knee and Jason stumbled back. 

Suddenly Damian jumped onto Wilson’s back and drove both his swords into his shoulders. “Need some help Todd?!” 

Jason suddenly didn’t feel so alone for the first time in a long time. He grinned and tensed his hands and charged Slade.

“ I did forget to mention that Penguin hired others in case I failed!” Slade drove his swords upward Damian dodged one but the other wrenched itself into his shoulder joint. Damian wailed out in pain and Slade threw him into a nearby building. Damian slumped over and shakily tried to get up before Slade stomped on his head.

Jason heard it before he felt it. A bang echoed throughout the ruined city and then fire blossomed in Jason’s guts. He bent over and clutched the wound as blood gushed from his wounds. 

‘Fucking armor piercing bullets. Expensive too. They should have shot for the head’

But I really want that money.” Out of nowhere Slade produced a remote and clicked it. An explosion detonated on a distant building. 

“ And some extra money from Deadshot’s shares…” Slade turned his attention back to Jason who glared furiously and started to stand straighter.

“Why haven’t you shot me in the head yet?”

“Sadly I have to prolong it, he said instantly was too good for you..." Slade bolted at Jason and knocked away the blade in his right hand as he brought it up and threw the one in his left hand in the distance. 

Jason’s eyes widened with the realization that this was it and the world stopped for a moment. Even Slade paused looking slightly remorseful before plunging his sword past Jason’s hands into the core of his chest. 

Jason’s knees shook and felt like the air had been knocked from him. Jason’s hand’s gripped the hilt of the blade jutting out of his chest. -

-” Todd! ” Cried Damian.

Jason tried to breath but only gasped on empty air as he fell forward onto Slade. Slade’s eyes furrowed as he sliced out Jason’s throat. Deathstroke withdrew his blades and let Jason hit the dusty earth. 

Sardonically Jason noticed the irony that Slade struck right where his heavily armored bat used to sit and right where a batagrang had caught his throat one explosive night. Jason started to feel a numbness flow through his body. His lungs still expanded but it was getting harder to feel them. He recalled distantly the second counted down in that warehouse, he recalled that Roy must have felt like that alone. His chest twinged as he stared at the ground his gaze stopping at the Helmet of Fate.

Damian slid to a stop beside his brother’s head.  
“ Todd… You’ll be…- “ Damian trailed off

‘Don’t say fine, this can not be fine’ Jason must have given him a look because Damian sobered quickly.

“You’ll be with company” Damian swallowed.

‘ company that hated him...’ Dribbles of blood made it past Jason’s lips onto the dry dusty earth.

Jason could barely see, he could only see the golden ire of the helmet of fate,he could barely be and he barely was. Damian removed his and Jason’s domino masks.

“You’ll be with family, with me Todd. You won’t be alone.” Damian whispered and place his hand in Jason’s hair. “I realize now it was brash to attack you with only circumstantial evidence. And I regret it. I drove you away from me…” Damian’s face twisted up and he finally looked like a child. Fuck he didn’t need to see this. Maybe if he were lucky Jason wouldn’t come back this time. “I did consider you kin and I always have. Someone who understood. I didn’t give you a chance after you shot Penguin. It bothered me that you did it because… Because you reminded me of myself, if you couldn’t change then, how could I?”

Damian had started to sound far away and fuzzy. 

“You’re my brother Todd. A bit stupid but I love you. And so does Dad, even if, even if he is difficult and oblivious, and hypocritical, and so does Tim, and Dick and Alfred. They all… We all love you…”

Jason felt touched in a way. At least he could cling to the small fleck of happiness before he was snuffed out of existence a second time. He could feel loved just for this little bit…

“Todd?” Jason had gone completely limp as his pupils blew out like a flame and his chest stilled under Damian’s hand. His eyes were glazed over staring emptily at the Helmet of Fate as Damian started compressions.


	2. Rebooting

I've spent time over the course of this month rewriting this fic and this is the process of my love and joy. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20835101

here it is

and the problem with this version of the story is it's indescribably bad. Plot wise and writing wise, I dont know why but this story isn't me and if you like this story and want more then I suggest you give something im proud of a try. Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not continue. So far I have edited this 3 times before I finally felt okay ish about it.
> 
> I have left some space for me to continue off and if I don't you can figure out for yourself what happens. Look at the title.


End file.
